Long-Awaited Dream

The news is out, people!  Out in the wide open air, and I couldn't be more relieved to share it with you.  
We're expecting!!!!

Our long-awaited dream is due to arrive May 15th.  They say the second pregnancy goes by faster than the first, but that hasn't been true for us.  Maybe it's because we've wanted this for so long.

Let's talk about life plans, shall we?

When I was little I thought my mom had the coolest job in the world.  I remember thinking, "When I grow up I want to be a mom.  But instead of cleaning the house I'm just going to play with my kids all day long."  What a dreamer!

But an image was there in my mind, and it never left me.  It was an image of a family similar to the one I grew up in--children with super close birthdays, close enough that they all wanted to play the same games, have the same interests.  

As I grew older the image may have shifted a little as far as number of children or names I liked (I won't even tell you the girl names I scribbled in my 6th grade journal!) but one thing stayed constant: kids born close together.  I had it in my mind that if they were born close together, they would BE close.  

My sister and brother were my best friends as a kid.  My childhood was awesome.  So early on I created a map for my own future family, and thought it would be simple to follow it.

Then I learned that life maps need to be drawn in pencil.

Two years isn't a long time in the world of infertility.  I have friends who waited much longer.  I have friends who waited much longer and never got the chance to experience pregnancy and birth.  And all the while going to endless doctor's appointments with endless tests, and taking medications or poking themselves with needles.  Not to mention the monthly, heart-crushing disappointment.

In the world of infertility we are lucky!  Well, in any world we are lucky.  So, so lucky.  I get to be a mom again!  It's more amazing, more vibrant and beautiful than I ever could have seen in some map.

In this new plan, I'm seeing the perks and the positive way things are falling perfectly into place.  Camden will be exactly 3 1/2 when our Little Bean is born.  How great is that?  First of all, he's old enough to understand what's going on.  He's excited and proud that he will be a big brother.  He likes to help the doctor with the doppler to find the baby's heartbeat.  He likes to show off the ultrasound picture.  Experiencing this with him is a magic I never realized existed!

Then there's the fact that he will be old enough to really help me out, and I won't be changing two kid's diapers because he's potty trained.  He'll be going to preschool soon after so there will be the excitement for him, and some one-on-one time for me and Little Bean.  The silver lining is blinding!

And the way he pats my stomach and whispers "Hi baby"... it gives me a feeling that they'll be close.  Someday best friends.

No comments:

Post a Comment