First Mother's Day

Mother's Day was weeks ago, but the emotions I felt on that day refuse to translate into words.  Between bathtime and playtime and naptime and all the other special times in the day, I've been mulling and sifting through my thoughts about mothers, women, myself, my own mom, my grandmas.

In the past, I gave little thought to the holiday.  So little, in fact, that it seemed to just bust out of nowhere every year.  For a while elementary school set me up with macaroni necklaces and glittery handmade cards, but come fourth grade you're on your own.  So the day before Mother's Day I'd end up sprinting through the mall to grab something pretty {but admittedly useless}.  I was convinced my mom was impossible to shop for, but I had to get her something to show her I loved her.  I'd put some good thought into a card, tell my mom I loved her, maybe give her breakfast in bed, and then that was that.  That was Mother's Day.  Until next year when it would bust out of nowhere again.

Mom... I'm sorry.  It took me 24 years to get it.

When the sun streamed through our bedroom window this Mother's Day morning I woke up flooded with a heavy sense of gratitude.  My first thoughts weren't about looking forward to getting anything, I just wanted to bring our baby into bed with us and love on my boys.

I didn't feel like it was a day that I needed to be reminded that Camden or Roy love me.  It was more of a day to appreciate Camden, our health, our love, our forever family.  Just an excuse to step back and realize what we have.  A few times I had to stare at my little family like this was a dream.  A really, impossibly good dream.

Still, Roy did make me breakfast and give me a few sweet gifts, and I did feel very loved.  But mostly I felt love for him, Camden, and the women higher up on my family tree who made this impossibly good dream possible.

Two of those women came over for dinner that night.  My mom and her mom, along with my grandpa, my dad, and my brothers.  Dad brought a table and chairs to set up outside so we could enjoy our garden and the almost-too-warm May air.  Mom brought flowers, because she always makes every space beautiful.

And while we passed the baby around to play with between bites of BBQ take-out, I sat back and looked at these two awesome ladies, hoping that someday I'd be just like them.  Able to sit surrounded by the fruits of your life's work: family and love.  

I guess I should have known it wasn't about the gifts or the pancakes or even the macaroni necklaces, but I finally get it.  Mother's Day is to celebrate life.  Without moms, without dedicated women who nurture and sacrifice and love, there wouldn't be any of it.  Not to mention that without babies, there wouldn't be any moms.  I thank God every day that I'm Camden's.  I have the best job.  In.  The.  World.  And I have the best examples to guide me through it.


  1. You always say it your blog:) love your family:)

  2. Happy First Mother's Day! I nominated you for a Liebster Award- check out my blog.