Oh Yeah, I Have a Husband Too!

It was a combination of two things that reminded me of the existence of my husband.

1- The looming end of my maternity leave {aka: Roy would soon be taking care of our baby on his own for half of every weekday}.
2- Valentine's Day

February ushered in the pink and red explosion in the first isle of the grocery store, heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and giant stuffed teddy bears, and I remembered Roy.  I mean really remembered him as more than just, "Daddy".

Greg McCown

In my defense, getting into this motherhood groove hasn't been a walk in the park.  I had to drain all of my energy into it, revolve my every thought around it.  The purpose of my life had shifted.  And Roy {and it's Roy after all} recognized that I needed this.  I needed to regain my footing after the earthquake that reshaped my world, and I needed to do it on my own.

Have I mastered motherhood?  HA!  No, but Roy wasn't waiting for that.  He was just waiting for me to reorient myself.  Waiting for me to have more to say than just, "Can you hand me that burp rag?" or "Shh!  The baby's sleeping!"

Slowly, it came back to me.  Life.  It was bizarre to step outside my bunker of a home and see that it had gone on without me.  People had gotten married, dropped out of college, been promoted, lost a grandparent, traveled to Europe.  Life was still spinning madly forward, and I was excited to be reentering the beautiful chaos with a new purpose and a new little family.

Roy had adjusted to being a dad way faster than I had adjusted to being a mom, but that's just his way.  Adaptable.  Let's things roll off his back.  And always cheering me on as I catch up to him.  Plus it might help that he didn't have any post-pregnancy hormones to contend with.

Valentine's Day weekend was our celebration outside of and separate from parenthood.  The first non-baby related anything for just us.  Roy had something up his sleeve for me, and let me tell you...

I.  Was.  Stoked.

My hair was curled, I swiped some heels from my sister's closet... dude... I even shaved my legs.

I felt fresh, like it was my official "reentering the beautiful chaos" initiation.  We left Camden with my parents -- I checked 40 times to be sure he'd have enough milk for the evening -- and we hit the road.  I didn't know where to, but I couldn't stop smiling anyway.  We were holding hands and laughing 'til I thought my stomach would split.  I was falling in love with him all over again.  Where had I been for the last 10 weeks?

Then we pulled up to Starr Pass Resort.  Fancy!  The plan was obviously to eat at the nice restaurant that our good friend Lynn works at.  We'd never been before, so I was excited.  'Til Roy said, "Where do we check in?"

"Check in?  As in... we're checking into the hotel?  Staying the night?  Without Camden?!"

There's me on the verge of an emotional meltdown.  Rough start to the initiation, right?  We'd never been apart from our baby for more than a couple hours, much less a whole night!  But Roy grabbed my hand and had that look in his eyes like he does when we're about to do something adventerous.  So I let the motherhood anxiety slip through my fingers.  I let us be just us.

So worth it!  After an amazing dining experience on the golf course {which, yes, included fried Oreos on ice cream} we returned to our room and changed for the pools.  Roy so kindly packed a bikini for me.  When he pulled it out of the bag I almost died laughing.

Let's just say my stomach still isn't quite what it used to be.  Between stretch marks and still-loose skin, a bikini would not have been my swimsuit of choice for a few months.  Or maybe ever again.  But hey, I wasn't going to let that stop us from exploring the pools.

So I strutted my motherhood battle wounds as we ran down to the pool.  {Literally, we ran because it was desert cold out.}  We picked the most conspicuous route to the pools, straight through the bar and dining patio in our skimpy getups.  People stared at us.  We laughed.  We are weirdos.

First we tried the lazy river.  It was dark, now, and the pools were empty.  We only had to dip a toe in the water to find out why.  But again, nothing was going to stop us tonight, not even frigid waters.  Roy got up the courage to dive in and he toted me around on an inner tube with the idea that I wouldn't have to get wet.  But he didn't let me stay dry for long.

After one lap around the lazy river we sprinted to the jacuzzi like our lives depended on it.  We made some friends in the hot water, but once they left I promptly encouraged Roy to get on the handicapped lowering chair so I could dunk him in and out of the hot water.  This turned out to be a little less fun than I'd imagined because the thing moved so slowly.  It was more like a torture device, slooooowly lifting Roy out into the freezing air.  Muahaha!

The rest of the night we explored the resort, dressed up in the bath robes like we were important, and just spent time on each other.  We made plans to go see an early movie together in the morning before heading home but... we cracked!  We just wanted to get home to our baby.

Days like these --Valentine's Day, our wedding anniversary, etc. -- they will have whole new meanings now that we're parents.  But in our lives I hope that we take time every day, between the play dates and soccer practices and skinned knees and runny noses, to step back from it all and be just us.  Two weirdos in love.

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