Livin' It

Since Eryn has been on maternity leave, there have been painful stretches of time without much face-to-face human interaction at work.  It. Is. Horrible.  Scribble "hermit" out of my list of aspirations!
You can imagine how excited I get when a delivery guy opens the door.  For the most part, we're pretty good buds, we all know each others names and whatnot.  But I think I freak out the poor frigidity UPS guy.  Maybe it's the ravenous look on my face at the potential for conversation.  Probably kinda scary.

Come to think of it, though, there's this this one particular guy that I used to be not so excited to see.  I'd see his truck pull up and I'd roll my eyes.  Before he even hopped out of his truck I could quote exactly how our conversation was going to go.
The door would swing open wide and this tiny little man would grin at me, "Hola, como estas, how are you?"
I would say, "I'm good, thank you.  How are you?"
He'd drop his box(es) beside my desk and say, "It's almost Friday!"  
And I would smile/grimace, sign, and shoo him away.

Same exchange every single day.

Even on {excuse my swearing} MONDAYS!

I thought it was deliberate torture.  Who dangles Friday in front of a computer-drained face on a Monday?  Who does that?!

Apparently people who are determined to spread happiness like a virus.

Somehow this guy knew, though.  He could tell I'm not the bandwagon type, I don't succumb to the environment easily, and I wasn't going to be an easy egg to crack.  Especially not on a Monday.  But my grimaces didn't phase him, every day he'd work on me with that big goofy grin and optimism until he got to me.  Happiness is contagious.  He's probably the happiest guy I've ever met in my life, and now that I'm not shooing him out ASAP, I've gotten to know him better and better over the last few months.  He has a wife who makes enchiladas that could kill.  He has four daughters too, one who just graduated high school.  He's so ridiculously proud of her.

I must have advanced from the "It's Almost Friday" level.  Now when I say, "I'm good, thank you.  How are you?" he says

"Livin' the dream!"  {Queue Peter Pan pose.}

Standing there in his FedEx getup, sweaty from the summer heat, he truly believes he's living the dream.  And as long as he believes it, he absolutely is!

You know, even though I'm nervous about this whole parenting thing, and I have no idea how we're going to make this work, I step back and realize this is totally amazing.  Married to the man of my dreams and starting a family together... this is what I dreamed about when I was a little girl.  I can't count how many of my Barbie's got married and graduated almost instantly to the little plastic bassinet.  I have a drawing in my fourth grade journal of the six kids I planned on having-HA!.  Of course my very handsome husband is also pictured.

Being a mama is my oldest, truest dream... and I'm livin' it!

{This pic was taken the day I found out, when Roo was still my little secret.  Felt like I needed some visual documentation, even though there's nothing to see.  It's kind of like our first picture together...  Right?!  TODAY I felt Roo move for the first time.  It was like a twitch, like a lil' bug... and it was amazing!}

The News

Roy and I are going to have a BABY Come Thanksgiving we'll have our own little turkey sleeping between us!  Hopefully sleeping... for at least part of the night... knock on wood for me.

'We're excited," doesn't quite cut it for us.  We're totally over the moon.  But can I be honest?

We have no idea what's going on, man. 

Pregnant?  Pregnant!  When I saw that positive test result {yes, in the women's restroom at work} tears sprang to my eyes immediately.  The tears were born of joy, fear, wonder, panic, bliss.  I had to take another one to really convince myself that it was true.  I slipped the second positive test into my desk drawer and for the rest of the day I kept opening it to steal a peek, like I was making sure I hadn't just imagined the whole thing.  Nope- there is was, still two pink lines.

I just kept thinking I should have known earlier.  There were signs early on.  Like when I downed four kabobs of Indonesian style chicken!  Or when I was so exhausted when I got home from work that I fell asleep in the bathtub!  Even the steadily increasing trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night should have clued me in.  But like I said... I have no idea what's going on.

I knew telling Roy had to be epic.  Unfortunately we were already planning on spending most of the weekend apart so I could enjoy General Conference with my family while he worked on an outrageous essay that was taking over his life.

Roy stopped by my office for a quick hug and kiss before he headed home to tackle the essay and we were separated for two days.  He probably wondered why I was hugging him tighter than normal, holding him hostage and making him late.  For me it was such an awesome moment, it gave me the chills.  Between us was a little somebody that I was dying to tell him about.  But I wanted to tell him in my own crazy way.  So I just held him and said nothing.

After work I went straight to my parents house and helped with a baby shower for an old high school friend.  At least three people asked me at some point during the night, "So when are you guys planning on having kids?"

It was impossible not to blush.  The temptation to say, "Oh, in about 7 months" and then watch it break over their faces, was almost too much!  AH!  But I couldn't.  I passed around onesies and tiny shoes and baby blankets and kept my mouth sealed. 

That night I watched a movie with Mom.  It was just the two {er-three} of us watching Julie Andrews tell us all about her favorite things.  I wanted to tell her then, my mom, the person I've always wanted to be like.  I wanted to tell her now I was going to be a mom too--explain why I was munching on a bag of potato chips at 11 at night {so unlike me} and why I couldn't keep my eyes open for Ms. Andrews.  But I didn't.  I fell asleep thinking about the little secret that only I knew.

But I almost blew it the next day.  Mom and I went shopping at Khol's in the evening, while the guys were all away.  When we walked inside the store she asked, "So what exactly are you looking for?  Church clothes?  Clothes for work?"

I couldn't stop it- I got the biggest grin on my face.  Mom said, "What?  Why are you smiling?  What?"

There was a thought process in my head that went like this: "I could tell Mom I'm looking for maternity clothes > That would be so funny> Mom finds out > Mom helps me with a cute way to tell Roy > Wait, no, I want Roy to be the first to know > Crap she is still staring at me > What do I say?"

She was getting frustrated with my goofy silence.  She said, "WHAT?  What are you trying to say?"

Total deer-in-the-headlights.  I said, "Well... I was going to say I am looking for some maternity clothes."  I bit my lip and waited to see how she would react.

Mom rolled her eyes and said, "Well you can't use that today, April Fools isn't until tomorrow.  And besides, when you finally are pregnant, no one's going to believe you.  They'll think you're joking again."

And then I had to stop myself from saying, "Yep... that's pretty much what's happening right now, actually."  But I successfully kept my mouth shut and wiped the dumb smile off my face.  Even though Mom would have been awesome coming up with a cute way to break the news, I wanted Roy to know first.

I got home late Saturday night, feeling super duper nauseous and all around no bueno.  Naturally, Roy wanted to cuddle and stay up talking and catching up from our full day apart.  Poor guy probably thought I was such a grouch.  I was like, "Let me just get my pjs on," and then I conked out for the night like I'd downed a bottle of Nyquil or something.

That is until a few hours later, when I woke up with a crazy hunger.  Roy was asleep.  Trying to be SUPER sneaky so that Roy didn't get any ideas prematurely, I slipped into the kitchen and ate a bowl of cereal in the dark, chewing really really slow and quiet like.

In the morning Roy woke me up with breakfast in bed.  I was suddenly nervous that he knew that there was cause for celebration, wondered if I'd talked in my sleep or I'd left my cereal bowl by the bed!!!  Then I remembered it was April Fools Day.  HA!

So I poked the syrup-covered waffle with my fork and said, "What have you done to this waffle?"  Silly guy can't even keep a straight face.  The waffle was still frozen solid.  So the pranks had begun- and Roy knew he was getting his.  But oh, if only he knew...

After the first session of Sunday Conference I had a picnic all ready to go.  Roy was obviously suspicious, but was good enough to go along with the fun.  We pulled into the parking lot at the lake and I parked in the "Expecting Mothers Only" parking space.  Then I just turned and gave him my stupid grin I'd apparently adopted for the weekend.

"Very funny, I get it, 'April Fools'" he exclaimed for me.  Then he grabbed the little blue gift bag I thought I had hidden so well in the back seat.  He peeked in and pulled out the pregnancy test (the second one I'd taken) and laughed again.

"Seriously!"  I said.  "That's a real test!"

"Whatever, you can probably just pour apple juice on it or something to make it read positive," he said.  He had a limitless number of rationalizations.  Like I'd had a pregnant friend lend me some pee, or I'd had Andrea leave me her own test when they were visiting... he just refused to believe me.  Not on April first.

We laughed and argued as we walked to a picnic table by the lake.  I got out the video camera and tried to tell Roy that the test was real.  I wanted to capture the moment that he really believed me on camera.

No luck.  Not verbally, anyway.  But man the different emotions that played on his face were priceless.  I had way too much fun messing with him.  He found the small piece of cardboard in his sandwich that said "APRIL FOOLS!"  And I told him THAT was his April Fool's day trick.  The pregnancy was real.

I was only halfway through my sandwich when he finally just picked me up, threw me over his shoulder, and marched me back to the car.  "You're taking a test right now, so I can see!"

Haha- it was so funny, both of us were breathless.  When we got home he handed me a digital test and insisted on supervising, so I couldn't get away with any funny stuff.

After I took the test we placed it on the counter and watched the digital hourglass on the face.  Roy stood behind me and put his arms around my waist, his chin on my shoulder.  For the first time in an hour we weren't laughing.  You could've heard a pin drop, I'm pretty sure Roy had stopped breathing.  Even I was nervous!  What if the first two tests had somehow been wrong?  I was thinking my whole reveal slash reverse April Fool's joke might backfire.


Roy's arms flew up in the air and he cheered like the Oregon Ducks had just won the National Championship.  He jumped around, picked me up and jumped around, made me dance with him right there in the bathroom.  Then he dropped onto his knees and said hello to my flat stomach, er--our little baby somewhere inside the flat stomach.  I loved seeing that.

Of course we had to take advantage of April Fools and let more people in on the surprise.  I talked about waiting, but Roy just couldn't.  He was struggling not to call every person in his contacts to tell them the news.  Plus, telling our families on this day would be especially hilarious since we have a history of joking about babies

We took the little shoes from last year's prank, crossed out the "April Fools" written on the soles, and replaced it with "November 15, 2012."

When we delivered them to my parents they actually believed us right away.  It was a cute reveal, and they were really happy, but it didn't turn out to be much of a prank.   

But don't worry, we found other pranks to play on them...

We called Roy's parents, but they were with company.  So instead we tortured his sisters.  Leah flat out wouldn't believe us until the calendar changed dates.  After a lot of messing with her, Kirsten decided to believe us, but promised that she'd be after blood if we'd fooled her.

And for Roy's parents, since obviously we couldn't do the reverse April Fools joke for them, we sent Laura a special birthday present.

Roy's parents were pretty happy too.  They've been so anxious to be grandparents.  We wish Oregon was closer!  Let's replace Phoenix with Newport.  Grandparents and the beach only two hours away?  Yes, let's do that.

Are you ready for a picture of the little tyke?
Look!  There's a Roo in my pouch!

Here our little Roo isn't much to look at.  But as soon as that blob appeared on the screen, this crazy-person laugh just tore out of my throat.  Then there were the tears-springing-to-eyes again,  I couldn't believe it!  Roy even said, "Whoa!  Something's really in there!"

Roy was  a little concerned when he found out which end was the head.  The doctor assured him that Roo's body would catch up soon enough.

And look how much our baby has already grown in just five weeks!  We switched doctors, so we got another ultrasound!  Roo was showing off some thumb-sucking action and wiggling around for us.  Seeing Roo move made it that much more real to me.  I'm growing a person!!!!

Our pet name for our little tyke is fun, but we still won't know whether Roo is a boy or a girl for another four weeks.  It is absolutely killing Daddy, here.  Killing him.  But he usually refers to Roo with "she" or "her."

One day I asked him, "Are you hoping we have a girl?"

He said, "I think baby girls are pretty cute.  I want it to be a girl until it's like ten.  Then I want it to be a boy."

Ha... I told him I'd see what I could do about that {not}.

Hopefully, for the sake of Roy's sanity, we will be able to tell the gender.  Because this time the doctor said that the current position of the baby would make it impossible to tell.  I kind of think it would be hilarious if Roo kept this little secret from his/her dad, though.  I don't mind the surprise.

And I don't care what gender Roo is.  Honestly, I used to think I'd want a boy first.  But ever since that first glimpse of our little blob, ever since hearing that fluttering heartbeat, my whole perspective has changed.  All I care about, all I want, is a healthy baby.

We already love Roo so much.  Like I said... "We're excited."