Mission: Domestication

Sometimes I enjoy a little rebellion.  For example, when I was sixteen I told my dad I wasn’t going to college.
Hah- yeah that was fun…
Then when I did end up going to college, I proudly told everyone who would listen that I was completely anti-domestic.  I couldn’t iron a shirt to save my life, cleaning the bathroom was forever last on my To Do List, and most importantly, I didn’t cook anything unless it came pre-made and frozen.  I had roommates that didn’t believe me… until they experienced it first hand.
I admit I got secret pleasure out of the looks on some people’s faces when they saw just how bad I really was. 
“Just give it a try.  You just need to practice.”
*One hour and a crusty purple casserole later*
“Oh… wow… you really do suck at cooking.”

And I loved how whenever someone burned something in the kitchen, whether or not it was me, (although it usually was) it was tradition for everyone to walk in and ask, “Oh no, is Elliot cooking again?”
Once I even had a date that spent the majority of the evening trying to convince me that it was my duty as a woman to become an amazing cook.  Yeah that was our last date. 
So, I found a guy that liked to cook himself and didn’t mind my anti-domesticity.  Yes!  I can lead my one-person rebellion for the rest of my life, right?  I’m set!  
Then we got married and moved into our own place.  How that changes everything I’ve been fighting for the last ten years, I have no idea.  But when Roy comes home from work I suddenly have this overwhelming desire to transform into Martha Stewart and whip up the most monstrous feast he’s ever laid eyes on!  I want the apartment to be spick and span and everything to match and look flawless!
Ew- what’s wrong with me?  Something about being married to the sweetest and awesomest man on earth is arousing weird womanly instincts I thought I’d been born without.  In fact, just for him my new mission for the year is to become… dOmEsTiC!
So, here I go.  Not only am I going to learn how to cook but I’m going to learn how to iron, too.  And I’m not going to forget about the laundry and let it get all mildewey in the washer.  And you know what?  I’m going to wear an apron too.
I mean… if I’m going down I might as well go all the way down.  Plus, I got a lot of cute aprons at my bridal shower.  I can almost wear one for each day of the week. 
And I’m going to! 
I really want to have a nice little nest for my husband.  You know, a place he doesn’t just like to come home to but LOVES to come home to.
This is the real deal.  I’ve not only written it down, but I’ve PUBLISHED it! 
If anyone is reading this… make sure I follow through, ok?  Haha!  I really don’t want Roy to have to eat cold cereal for the rest of his life.

6 comments:

  1. HAHhahaHAHAHAahHAAHHAha This post is hilarious ell! but I think, like we learned in church, you are not as bad as you think you are. I truly love coming home and really really really love you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hehe, that is SO CUTE! But...don't iron. Get a steamer. Seriously - fast, easy, and fool-proof. Keep us updated!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha! You make me laugh...so cute....there are many tricks of the trade...not that Im even close to an expert but cooking.....Im not so bad....lots and lots of things that don't turn out and one day you will look back and laugh at yourself again..I have a lot of Granma Colletts recipes if you ever have a memeory that you want to try out:)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Remember if it doesn't turn out, there is always cold cereal.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Don't worry if worse comes to worse he loves cold cereal and always has

    ReplyDelete
  6. Just a little word of advice or caution...Make sure Roy is on the same page. For the whole first year of mine and Tanner's marriage I got up every morning before he went to work and made him a hot breakfast....(So I was cooking 3 hot meals a day) After a year of this he finally decides to let me know that he doesn't like to eat when he wakes up, he would rather eat a few hours after his day has started!!! Oooo I was mad, a whole year- seriously!! So Im just saying that before you put in a ton of effort and time make sure that is what Roy wants:)

    ReplyDelete